I'll say so.

I wonder every day if I'm doing too much. Or if everything I had done has made something or anything different. Maybe I'm thinking little of myself, and I just dream too big. You'll probably forget everything I've worked for to make sure you won't ever say no. I'll probably forget how important it is, and just go. This is sorta what I hate about results. I'll never know. I'm not hearing what you're thinking. I'm not seeing what needs to happen. I can't possibly do this all on my own. I'm tired of asking for help. Everything, anything, something hurts. Why? Because I don't think that a single thing I'm doing right now will matter to me in a million years. I mean that with all my heart. Because I won't care how you conjugate poder in past tense. I won't care about vectors. They're like mood-swinging pregnant women. SOHCAHTOA your mom. It'll never mean anything to me in the long run. Sorry. So, I'm here. And there. I'll find somewhere to go. There's nothing to worry. Toodihloo.

Take us where you want us to go.

Let me tell you something. This is my favorite time of the year. The fact that Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas are holidays that are back to back from each other makes years fly. My brother and I would joke when we were little about how they are totally controversial. "Okay.....so you scare people, then you thank them, and then you buy them a gift. WHAAA?!" But you can't just NOT celebrate, so we follow where the holidays change us, bringing us closer, and making us have a warm, fuzzy feeling even when it's cold outside. What I see lately is the total opposite these past years. I barely hear trick-or-treaters knocking on my door, people refusing to see their family during Thanksgiving, and less strangers saying "Merry Christmas" when I walk across them. There's less people donating money for the unfortunate. There's less people merry. There's more people shaking their head no. They're too mature for it. I see them as being afraid. You just can't imagine yourself wearing gobs of makeup, cooking the turkey, or caroling around town, don't you? I don't know how someone can just instantly be apprehensive about it just because you're one year older, or you've gone through puberty. Whooo......hiphiphooray. But listen, take the chance. If you feel like a fool, so be it. If you don't, you're not celebrating hard enough. It's time to embrace the chase of time. And if people tease you, don't worry. They're lightyears behind you. I'm not saying to spend tons of money or stress about it, but just take October, November, and December to its advantage and cradle it in your arms. Why? Because you deserve it. If you let it all go away, you're limiting yourself into ridiculous standards that you've made up for yourself. You're playing this game with yourself that's uncalled for. Just take a break. Pause the game. And as for people who can't enjoy the holidays because of financial issues, listen. Enjoy the jubilee as normally as you can. If celebration's what you want, everything will find its way, leading it to what you always wanted. Trust me, you're bigger than life. I think people forget to remind each other that. Look at the chilly clouds above and ask this season to guide you where they want you to go. Try.

That's it.

There are days when you suddenly realize that everything you are is nothing that made you wrong at all. In fact, it's what made you more normal than before, which makes you achieve something totally unexpected. And today was one of those days. If I had only known that my life was going to be this accomplishing at this very moment, I wouldn't have been such a worried little goofball from the beginning. But justtttt wait- next week I'll probably type about how much my life sucks. So I'm just going to bite my tongue for awhile, okay? ;) & I probably wouldn't have been so successful if it weren't for being the worried little goofball that I always am. But I guess I'm alright. I guess this is some uplifted awakening to my deprived body. I guess this is the sign I was looking for all these weeks. I guess I should just stop returning to the starting point and keep walking from where I left off. This is a surprisingly good day. Thank you, God. There's nothing much to say now. That's it.