Here I am. I'm in everything.Look, I'm everywhere I should be.
I know a lot of people because of who I am. Everyone who's in everything any place I'm in.
I should really happy. I'm doing what I want to do.
So why does it feel like I'm all alone? How come there's a feeling stuck in my head that wants to panic the whole time? Not from the stage, but from everyone who surrounds it? I'm next to right, but walking arm in arm with wrong, all while I'm among people who are better. Better, how? Idk. I'm just not it.
Yes, you can tell me this will "all go away" tomorrow, and you can be right. But this feeling will come again. This is not just a bad day. This is the day where it all made sense.
So what can I do? Why can't you try and enjoy yourself?
I'm afraid that maybe.....maybe...I'm tired of it all. I'm tired of everything I've worked for; having the same dream my whole life.
Typing this makes me cry. Real bad.
I'm just gonna end it on that note. I don't think I'm comfortable with "thinking" that this is what's really going on in my head, but for tonight, I'm gonna do myself a favor and let myself feel vulnerable for once. I wanna see what happens. If anything changes, I'll let you know.
