I don't wanna be this way. If there's anything I want right now, I need a sign. A HUGE undeniable sign that tells me that everything will be okay. Because not only am I scared, but I'm scared of being scared. Don't ask why I am, I just feel like it's better not to question this sort of notion. Plus, it takes less time for me to worry, yet, that's what I tend to do best. Maybe I'm blind by this sort of depressing wave of yuck, and that I'm actually right where I'm suppose to be. It's not like I need to go anywhere. I'll have company, and I'll return back from where I'll leave. It has been this way my whole life. It's what I've known all these years. Returning from where I've left my mark is what I've been told to do. & it's not like I'm not good at taking a step back. By all means, I'm in no rush at all. I'll wait right here. But please, tell me if I'm wrong. Tell me if I'm in your way, or if I don't know the difference between my left or right. I just feel like I'm forgetting something. I'll stay behind. & I'll catch up someday. I just think that maybe this direction isn't the only path. It shouldn't. So would it be a mistake to take a different trail? Maybe it's best if I walk in my own steps. If I see you again, please, don't go away. I know that everything won't be the same. It's like this place is all grown up. & soon, it'll give me permission to see the other side. I'm looking its way. I'm coming. Let me see. Let me go. Let me be. 
Friday, September 25, 2009
Let me come.
I don't wanna be this way. If there's anything I want right now, I need a sign. A HUGE undeniable sign that tells me that everything will be okay. Because not only am I scared, but I'm scared of being scared. Don't ask why I am, I just feel like it's better not to question this sort of notion. Plus, it takes less time for me to worry, yet, that's what I tend to do best. Maybe I'm blind by this sort of depressing wave of yuck, and that I'm actually right where I'm suppose to be. It's not like I need to go anywhere. I'll have company, and I'll return back from where I'll leave. It has been this way my whole life. It's what I've known all these years. Returning from where I've left my mark is what I've been told to do. & it's not like I'm not good at taking a step back. By all means, I'm in no rush at all. I'll wait right here. But please, tell me if I'm wrong. Tell me if I'm in your way, or if I don't know the difference between my left or right. I just feel like I'm forgetting something. I'll stay behind. & I'll catch up someday. I just think that maybe this direction isn't the only path. It shouldn't. So would it be a mistake to take a different trail? Maybe it's best if I walk in my own steps. If I see you again, please, don't go away. I know that everything won't be the same. It's like this place is all grown up. & soon, it'll give me permission to see the other side. I'm looking its way. I'm coming. Let me see. Let me go. Let me be. 