I'm not dumb. I make mistakes. And yes, sometimes I KNOW I am making mistakes, but I still do it anyways. But that doesn't have any relevance to being dumb. Nope. Nada. So why does it feel like I'm trying too hard to prove to everyone that I'm whatever the hooplah I idealistically need to be?You're no fun. I don't want to play anymore tricks. No more games in my little head wondering if I can handle 4 hours of sleep. Nope. Nada. If there's one thing I learned from the past 6 weeks, it's this: I deserve better. Sure, I don't mind letting kiddos borrow my pencil, and sure, I don't mind it when you just want someone to listen. I'll always be there for you. It just seems like I'm not human these days, and as of right now, I'm guiding myself on how to breathe again. And I'm sorry if you've been thinking less of me. I'm not doing a very good job at being me. Trust me, it's been hurting every single day that I'm living to accept it. But I don't want to. And please don't read this thinking I've gone madly depressed, which is not the case. Feeling bipolar? Maybe. I just want to make this clear. This is my self-note. This marks the date where this grand declaration takes action. I'm done. So don't even try. Nope. Nada.
