So I was going to write a happy-sort of blog about the future today......until my past hit me. & the smile I wore faded when my parents bursted the news about my report card today.
CRAP.
My end of year grades.....the only column that mattered to my parents........weren't so good.
My first year to have A's & B's in my end of year grade since...like, 2nd/3rd grade.
& it just killed me.
AND I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING,' Wow....big whoop! I get those grades alllll the time!'
Honey........I want to go out-of-state.
& I can't with my average-y grades.
This all happened after 6 1/2 hours of volunteer work at my church's bazarr, and seeing old friends from school.
& the good times just completely got shot down in 2 minutes of me looking at the stupid piece of papers with letters on it.
UGH.
And my parents......are so disappointed.
I don't blame them. Sometimes I feel like I'm setting myself up for total failure. I think about it......and man. It's gonna be hard for me to get in a college in Massachusettes.....or Ohio......or Minnesota. & my academics......aren't totally awesome. But my activities are spectacular......musically. I'm not really all-rounded now that I think of it.
I'm probably gonna end up in U of H....NO OFFENSE TO PEOPLE WHO GO THERE. I'm just noting the fact that I'm probably not gonna have a full ride or scholarship to pay my tuitions even if I'm accepted to an easy college-accepting school like people who usually go to the U of H. I'm just going to waste money applying and expecting to get rejected over and over again.
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
This negativity is just the climax of all negativity.
Ressa.....junior year is the most important.
& the hardest! Which is what my grades show.
Ressa....I knew you weren't studying enough!
Because of the fact I'm too involved in my after-school activites.
Well...what's the use of being in these activities if they're distracting you!
They're not. I want to be a part of it.
Your priorities are screwed up.
Thanks Mom and Dad.
Did I mention my award for the Leadership Academy of excellence? My prize money for being one of the grand prize winners in the Filipino American Superstar singing competition? Being a Junior Catholic Daughter of America officer? Having the highest rank for my UIL Solo Ensomble singing competition?
My parents don't think twice about these things. I'm just the bad daughter once again.
I can't fix anything now.
I can't fix anything now.