If there were atleast five things I learned about myself from my past it's this:
- I'm not afraid to be happy. But then again, being happy is the main emotion of my life for the most part. I remember going to the doctor 8/9 years back-ish telling him I haven't cried for 2 years, and he was pretty surprised. He was like," Really....no deaths? Your brother didn't step on your favorite toy? Your mom wouldn't let you get another cookie? Never got dumped?" & I ended up laughing at him for the longgggest time. I responded to him that deaths are like birthdays when going to heaven, so really, they're alot happier, and if they're happy, I'm happy. Thinking about it now, I was pretty optimistic as a kid. My brother sure did step on my toys, but then again, I stepped on his as well. It wasn't something worth crying about by any means. I wasn't all interested with cookies. I liked singing to customers while riding the shopping carts and did a mini "concert" for everyone. lol And boys? They still had cooties. My doctor couldn't stop from smiling at my response ( I thought I was being "oh-so" intellectual which was a pretty cute thing to be when I was a kid) when he wrote on my percription slip that I must "watch the Lion King and make sure Ressa cries when Mufasa died." Lol, my mother was pretty amused when she read it. But sure enough, we definitely bought the VHD tape in Kroger afterwards. I didn't understand why the doctor wanted me to cry, though. My mom pretty much said that crying is a part of growing up. So I just agreed and remembered being reallllly excited about crying when I was riding back home, ahaha. Years later, I learned that, apparently, it's unhealthy to not cry every now and then. So I guess you can say I had a pretty good childhood. & I SURE did cry when Mufasa died. haha. I still have that slip! :)
- I'm wayyyy too innocent. & I still am, but then again, I didn't watch alot of cable TV growing up. Instead, I was obssessed with singing along to the Whitney Houston cassette tapes my mom would play in her car and talking to grown ups for some reason. I liked asking questions and I had that whole "adorable" aura about myself, so adults definitely liked talking to me back. My mom's friends told my mother that they had never seen a girl so curious. Curiosity turned into naiveity when boys began acting perverted and girls were trying hard to look attractive, I was like," Uhhh....dude, stop staring at me all wierd.......and you! Girl over there! Aren't you going to get cold all day from that skirt? High heels won't help." But no. I didn't really say that to anyone, but having a point made, I was a deer in the headlights when puberty was happening, yet honestly, I pretty much stayed the same girl. Yeah, middle school and junior high was my awkward stage. I wore cute purple glasses and khaki jumpers while always finishing my math homework in my free time. Other kids would be passing notes to each other and....just NOT doing their homework, lol. But just between you and me, I think puberty was a silly excuse for kids back then. Like, "Sally? Wanna go out with me?" "Why, Tom?" "Because....because I started my puberty." Really, now?! NOOOO JOKE. I remember a kid saying that when I was in junior high. Of course, I changed the names because I don't even remember who said it. Now, highschool corrupts everyone. So yes, I do get it when someone remarks, "That's what she said", but forgive me when I reply back,"She said what?" lol. College is gonna hit me hard, haha.
- I don't like to argue with people because if a person wants to explain something REALLY BAD to me, then I'll listen, even if I end up being right in the end. (pssst, I don't care about being right; I care if we both understand that there's an answer. I know, not all teenagers are like that, but I am.) It's not that people think I'm stupid, but people don't really take me seriously when I try to let them "see a brighter side to things". In the nicest way, I'm trying to say that you're not thinking about the whole picture. But I'm not so good at giving advice, anyway. I try, though. This is sorta like 2 facts in one, lol.
- I don't take hate seriously. It's one of those feelings that just won't last. To hate on others will always last, but its up to us to stay that way. I don't really get "angered" on, but when I am, I kinda laugh at it. I smile at that particular person more than anyone else. I make sure I say "hello" and "goodbye" to that person when I enter and leave the same room and I make myself talk to that person with every chance I get. Yeah, sounds kinda stalkerish, but I promise you, this plan always works. Eventually they'll forget being mad at me and everything goes back to normal. & yes.....I CAN be angry at people, but then again, I don't take hate seriously. I don't get angry unless it's something that'll impact me really deep (example: killing my dog, vandalizing my house, etc), because these ARE legit reasons to get angry. Time will heal. &....yeah, you get the point.
- I never really know myself. Ironically, I think these "facts" and survey thing-a-mobobbers are resisting us to fully open ourselves to new ideas, discoverings, and new people. Typing that you hate listening to John Mayer will make you never realize how talented he is when he sings Gravity! (Besides, everyone loves John Mayer!) But yeah, it's just an example since I'm listening to him right now. Really, you never know yourself until those last moments on earth. Have fun with yourself, and give yourself chances to try new things. :)
Haha, I was looking at my old videos, and I remember my freshman choir initiation. I totally won the contest, too! lol :) I had to go up at the stage and sing a christmas song in a different way according to how the older sophomore choir brother/sister wants you to sing it. I had to sing Jingle Bells in a sexy way, and I was a present. x] Haha, really embarassing. But I guess this ties in to my fact #5! Happy Wednesday! :) Gotta go watch ANTM!
(pssssst. This was more of a rambling sorta blog post. I felt like being random today. Haha, I'll prolly post a more serious blog later on.)
