Sometimes there are things you just don't wanna know. Especially when you know people know you know it. There's this instinctive thumping from across the outline of your heart that reassures your existence and makes you wanna tell truths. These truths vary from what lies within the atmosphere to what settles within your troublesome reliefs. It takes consideration between what happens to what could have been. It strengthens the imaginary over the reality to transform into a dispute over trust. Soon, it leads to that one nerve that tells you ,"So, what's it gonna be?" And you sit there in awe from the split second that the world willingly gives to stop and listen to what you want to say.Then....it's all up to you. Yes.....or no?
First of all, you want to be smart about it. You take everything into consideration.....thinking twice after thinking twice.
You'll say yes, and suddenly everyone's your best friend. You're considered another step checked off someone's list of goals to do and then you're back to step 1 when they're going on to step 56 of their future. Bringing on a thumbs up signals even more happiness or being viewed lesser than who you are. Wrong answer, maybe?
But suddenly commanding your mouth to say no will bring more disappointment. You don't move forward, nor backward. You stop from where you stand. Tears flowing and distasteful language overwhelms you with thinking you're the bad person in the conversation. But maybe it'll fond you over other bystanders who take notice and let you gain some genuine respect.
It's like you can never really win.
Thinking about it only makes you realize that you should owe it to yourself to say how you really feel, & say something you won't regret and mean it as much as make them want to feel. A choice that'll slowly but surely change you as much as you resist yourself to stay who you are. This silent magical spell that can't be shaken but stirred. It's as strong or as bland as you want the flavor to taste, and the only way to change things back to where they were is to pour it all down the drain and start all over again.
This motion is so powerful.
I think people have forgotten, sometimes.
