Obviously, based on my last blog, it's not all rainbows and butterflies with my mother. But for the most part, it's not like we're gonna have angry words get the best out of us.
It's kinda sad, though. In a way, I sorta feel ashamed for myself.
There were times when I thought," Man, I never.....ever....wanna be like my mom."
But then I think about how much she did for me to be alive.
I was nearly 2 or 3 months premature when I was born. & when my mom was pregnant with me, the doctor told my parents I was their last time in having a child.
My mother was sorta disappointed, because she really wanted 3 kids. She had a miscarriage, but then happily had a son. & he was all she ever asked for.
But then one day, she felt like......something was missing. But it wasn't something at all.....but a some'one' instead.
She motivated herself in trying to have another child again.
Little did she know it took her 8 weeks of bedrest, a near-death experience on an overdosage on medications (stupid doctor), one full season of Medicine Woman, 3 yarns of string for knitting handmade blankets, and hundreds and thousands of times gagging herself in the toilet to get what she wanted. Me.
& when I was in her arms for the very first time, she said,"You're worth it."
She taught me to smile without drooling over my bib.
She taught me to say words without using them negatively.
She taught me to love without crossing the line.
She taught me to be strong without looking like Hulk Hogan.
She taught me to be right without pointing fingers.
She taught me to forgive without doubts.
She taught me to be myself without following anyone.
She taught me well.
How dare did I ever doubt myself that my mom isn't this amazing?! & my prebirth hero.
I'm very much like my mom.
Because of her, I'm me.
Here's my Mother's Day video. I literally woke up from a nap from this vid. x] But I don't feel like re-doing it.
Not right now.
I have to spend some time with my mommy. <3
