I've walked out of that place having the best time ever. And at the same time, I wished school would be finished already.The endings of all my highschool years....are just.......the same.
It's not a bad thing. It really isn't. But expecting everything to be over like it always has been is getting me...in some way.....deprived?
Is there something missing along the road of my highschool years?
I feel like sky diving, running a marathon, scuba diving in an ocean. Writing, mostly. Actually, writing always. Even more than singing sometimes.
Or is it possible that my junior year is everything I imagined it to be? I always begin and end; recycle and repeat.
Should it feel continuous? Is there an ending? Or do I have to paint on a blank canvas all over again?
I've liked my paintings. Why push it away? Brush it off? Pretend like it wasn't as important as your current drawing? It all seems so jaded.
Maybe I'm still not over with letting go.
If you haven't noticed, I'm horrible with saying goodbyes.
I wish I have someone to talk to about this. Not that I don't trust people, but I feel like the only one feeling this way. Maybe I'm wrong, but I know that it bothers me most than others. I've been such a fool.
& I must face it.
